AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[sunshine_queen]

Let me preface this episode by the fact that the idea of Daddy dying fills me with a deep and aching horror that feels like I was injected with Ice 5. Because Daddy is my absolute FAVORITE CHARACTER and the idea of him dying is beyong horrifying.

Aside from that, this morning newspaper had this informative blurb on tonight's episode:

"Sydney and Nadia learn learn that caregiver Sophia was beaten."

Oh, gee, THANKS A LOT, MIAMI HERALD. Not "Daddy is dying" not "[Something about Dixon]"- nope, Barb and Gira learn that SOME RANDOM PERSON WAS BEATEN. Some random CAREGIVER.

Scene: Mom and me at 6:30 this morning

Me: There is no Sophia.
Mom: Are you sure?
Me: Uh, yeah. Unless they're referring to the orphanage lady. The Portuguese one.
Mom: Brazilian, and that's Sonia, not Sophia, idiot.
Me: Then who do they mean?
Mom: Why don't you read spoilers?
Me: MA!
Mom: You'd know then, wouldn't you?
Me: Shut up.

So, yeah. Caregiver Sophia better be someone important.

... no, seriously, I just checked the TV and it says the same thing and I want to cry because I DON'T KNOW WHO SOPHIA IS and I will not breakdown and go look at imdb.com.

Nor will I believe that Syd's really crying because those were old clips and NewSyd doesn't cry anymore.

... I will not go to imdb.com. It's fifteen minutes until it comes on. NOR WILL I GO TO AOL AND WATCH THE CLIP.

I will not.

Nope.

Willpower.

I should... actually, be doing my poetry response. Dammit. I hate dissecting poetic rhythm and whatnot.

 

And now... action!

- A guy got a cellphone and a bomb. He went to Copenhagen and blew up the Indonesian Embassy with a cute girl inside. How rude.

- The caregiver Sophia? IT IS TOTALLY SONIA BRAGA. I am a brilliant child.

She got beaten up and asked Nadia if she could stay with her, Nadia said yes. So, Sonia came to LA and she is remarkably Derevko and remarkably uninterested in Syd.

Why aren't Nadia and Sonia speaking in spanish? WHY? I love it so.

- Sloane came to see Sonia and can I just say that I would prefer if Sloane didn't touch anyone EVER? I scream when he touches people.

- There's a mission. Or something. Whatever, Dixon and Vaughn went.

- Sloane is creepy, but seemingly not crazy. Where is Joel? And the big red ball? And the cow jumping over the moon?

- Daddy. Is. Dying.

He got his blood transfused by Lenny, and let me tell you right now, Daddy is on LOTS of drugs because he was all jovial and smiley. He doesn't want to bare his soul to Syd before he dies.

HE IS NOT GOING TO DIE.

- on the mission, Dix and Vaughn realize the dude they thought was dead wasn't. I don't care about this storyline. Sonia Braga is there and Sloane is evil and DADDY IS DYING.

[action]

Nadia visits Sonia, who is totally her tante, and they chat about how much Nadia has changed. Sonia says it was the best time of her life, being with the girls. She gives Nadia her San Marcos necklace, which is probably something along the lines of Mommy's Truth Takes Time earrings.

Sloane takes Sonia's palmprint to Marshall to analyze. Hee, Marshall. Sloane looks like my dad's friend. This horrifies me. He looks dashing.

Daddy starts PEELING HIS HAND. I screamed SO LOUD. Syd comes in but doesn't catch him. She knows something's up. Daddy continues to peel once she leaves. EW.

Dixon and Vaughn mission. They find the dude and drug his drink. A will Ferrell lookalike looks on. They make him ill so they can confront him in the bathroom. This week's badguy wants this largescale water contaminant, so everyone has to deal with minor death counts until then.

Whatever. The dude is weird and calls him Marcus. I trust NO ONE this episode.

Except for Daddy.

[action!]

Dixon and Vaughn chat on the phone with Langley about Rames, even though he should've left. They decide he'll do better in the field. I hate this guy.

Cut to Syd and Nadia doing mission-like things. Syd says a funny thing about tuition. It made me giggle.

Cut to hotel Nadia found. Vaughn attacks the guy and is so miserably beaten. He's so soft. It's sad.

They run and chase and run and Dixon hits him. Dixon and Vaughn is so cute.

Cut to... Sloane getting a file from Marshall. Marshall knows ALL.

Syd and Nadia chat about how wild and crazy the younger sister was in her day, but Sonia always loved her. I screamed at Syd that DADDY ALWAYS LOVED HER but she doesn't see things that way. Ungrateful bitch.

Sonia and Sloane talk. I understood SO LITTLE of what went on. Like, she got the baby, she protected Nadia forever, changed her name, killed people, etc. etc... but other than that, I have no idea. Sloane is creepy but DAMN does he look good this episode.

[Action]

I'd like to say I remembered what happened in this sequence but honestly?

DADDY WAS SCRAPING AT HIS HAND AND THEN STICKING A LETTER OPENER IN IT AND THEN HE PULLED OUT A PILL!

And I am hoarse from screaming.

... Um... Dixon was amusing playing a hacker... Vaughn is NOT soft when it comes to hurting other people; in this case, ripping earrings and eyebrow rings out of the real hacker none too gently.

Syd finds out that Sloane was looking into Sonia; she's all, Nadia trusts you, for reasons unknown to me, so I'm warning you, back off. And only for my sister's sake. I hate you.

Shouldn't Nadia, too? DID LAST WEEK NOT HAPPEN?

Daddy's looking ill. He's talking slower, I swear.

Oh, Jim Morrison was singing in the club. I hear that voice and melt. Mmm, Jim.

AHHH DADDY! DADDY, YOU'LL BE OKAY NOW!

Right?

Right.

Oh, and the biohazard water thing they're trying to stop is really, really bad. We don't want it. Nope.

[Action! AHHH!]

This segment made me cry. Honestly.

Daddy knew about the pill. Lenny told him. Doesn't he remember?

I think Lenny's a BAD GUY.

Either way, Daddy got tears in his eyes, and I bawled, because Daddy cares SO MUCH about his little girl and said little girl doesn't even realize that he's sick.

More missioning.

Um, Daddy, Sloane, Nadia and Syd have a meeting. The girls get up and leave, oh so cute. Daddy tells Sloane that they need to tell the Sisters the truth before he dies. Oh. My. God. Sloane agrees. Seems that our little lovely is in danger.

I hate Syd SO MUCH because she's blind and I hate her. Bitch.

Back to the mission. The guy who looks like Will Ferrell intercepts a transmission and knows that there's an Agent Dixon. Why didn't they use CODE NAMES?! VAUGHN!? Anyway, the dude goes nuts and wants to kill Dixon. However, he doesn't know which one's which. Because Dixon just bared his soul about Diane being dead and having two kids, it is obvious that Rames is going to be a man and take it.

Bullets, Rames gets shot. Now it looks like Dixon's gonna finish him off, but I doubt it. He'll probably shoot the others.

Vaughn is being rather useless. Why do they do that? He's so hot in action!

[action!]

So, um, Dixon shoots the dude, but he's not dead, so no worries. Whatever. Vaughn gets him to a hospital; nice to know he's good for something.

Daddy calls Syd in to a meeting with Sloane and Nadia. They tell the girls about the third Derevko who fell out with Irina and has been watching the girls forever, pics and all, which is just weird.

(and nine year old Nadia has the same teeth as my best friend's little sister. hee.)

Anyway, they have simply NO IDEA where Elena is. Teh shock!

Will Ferrell does, though. He's on the phone with her. So does Nadia's San Marcos pendant, who is transmitting everything- ew- to Elena.

Who is Sonia Braga.

Oooh, color me shocked.

NEXT WEEK:

Sick and wrong and not of the lord. Daddy is hallucinating, but they need something... so they're gonna hypnotize SpyDaddy and have SYD PLAY LAURA. This is just... so gross. I mean, dude, what if- what if-

AHH.