Woe Upon Your Cylon Heart!

kag523 just wrote me one of the greatest fics of all time, starring JUST ABOUT EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT I LOVE IN BSG EVER. The fic has Samuel T. Awesome, my bb, being a Pyramid player who is also BFFs with Kara, but she's into Lee, and then he meets this SUPER AWESOME BEAUTIFUL FANTASTIC LADY who just so happens to be Kara's sister and who is ALSO MY BITSY BOO CAPRICA JOY, and then they fall in love and then Samders goes to Caprica and Kara's house for Christmas, and oh guess what? THEIR PARENTS ARE THE TIGHS. THE TIGHS!!!!!!!!!!

In conclusion, it is legit one of, if not the, most amazing fics of all time. She even called it The Tighs that Bind because she is just that awesome.

Um, so, apparently this is me reacting as I watch BSG again. Consider yourself lucky, I didn't do this the first time, except to Yubs.

Now, I'm noticing how many damn scenes there are between Tigh and Kara. IT'S LIKE THE SHOW WANTS ME TO SHIP THEM OR SOMETHING, AND I NEED NO ENCOURAGEMENT. This has happened before- I love Gaius/Caprica, I love Tigh/Ellen, so, natch, I love Caprica/Tigh. So now I guess this math might work with Sam/Kara and Tigh/Ellen -> Kara/Tigh? WHY DOES MY BRAIN DO THIS?

(I don't mean this seriously. Yet. IDK, if I can ship them when they're actively in hate can you imagine when they actually start getting along? HOPEFULLY ELLEN'S ARRIVAL WILL QUASH THIS.)

Mom: How did I know [Boomer] was an eight?
Me: Because she a Cylon.
Mom: [happily] I like the Sevens.
Me: Um. how?
Mom: [like, 'duh'] Um, she's Tricia Helfer.

Which lead to the singular joy of explaining to my mom about the miscount, and the final five and whatever (her reaction was: YOU HAD A PICTURE TAKEN WITH A CYLON?! ... ... ... Oh wait, you also had pictures taken with Tigh and Mrs Tigh) and about the Caprica/Tigh/Liam debacle (which had my mom all indignant that Caprica had a baby not with Gaius, and all concerned about Tigh, who was married to "the beautiful lady!"

So, this morning, after work called and woke me up to ask if I could work later (the answer is always yes!) I went back to sleep and dreamt that the fleet of Galactica made it to earth with a near-death Lauroslin, and somehow found the dollhouse.

There, the fabulous but evil Adelle DeWitt was like, as a sign of friendship from our people, the Rossum corporation is willing to scan your president's brain so that she can rule FOREVER (because, well, why should Rossum/DeWitt care about the word 'president' if no one on the show does?) and they're all like OMG OKAY and then they get a Six who is done with the whole trying to make humans like them deal and figures that this is the best gift she can give her siblings, and agrees to become President Lauroslin.

(Also, somehow they had Ellen's scans too, and Papadama was kind of like, hey. Hey, bro. Do you want Ellen back? Cause we can do that. And Tigh was like D: about it, because he wanted his Ellen, but then he realized when he talked/slept with Caprica he saw his Ellen anyway, and in my dream I was like NO DREAM SAUL NO because it was like watching an episde.)

So, yeah, Lauroslin was going to get that whole new blonde body thing she talked about in Resurrection Ship. And now I kind of want to write this? I have issues.

... ALSO LOL I am now realizing that there would be TWO HELOS, both tall and morally judgmental, as Topher said, tall-ing around and being all THIS ISN'T RIGHT, THEY'RE PEOPLE TOO and Adelle DeWitt preaching about how that Six was being more selfless than any of them could ever dream and freeing her people- all her people- and everyone's all touched and skeeved out at the same time and Helo's like, BUT THEIR SOULS and they're like, can it, Ballard, and he's like STOP CALLING ME THAT and then Papadama has to send him back to Galactica because he can't handle the excitement and Kara laughs at him.

Me: i feel like there is somehow a six fic lurking that is called "that's why her hair is so big"
Hannah: hahahaha
Me: OR
Me: a gaius fic
Me: you can guess what it is called
Hannah: I told Alex one time that Joe Jonas was a life ruiner, that he ruined people's lives (when we were discussing the Joe Taylor Swift shit)
Hannah: and just yesterday he goes "Oh...you go that from Mean Girls?"
Hannah: and I just wanted to headdesk everywhere.
Me: dude, for real.
Me: get on it, kid
Hannah: Look, Boomer knew that Six had been hooking up with Colonel Tigh in the projection room above the auditorium
Hannah: but she never told anyone
Hannah: because she is such. a good. friend.
Me: man you know Ellen Tigh would Regina George that bitch
Me: she's all ADMIRAL LOOK AT THIS BURN BOOK SIX MADE.
Hannah: hahahaha.
Hannah: "Ellen Tigh is a fugly...old ass...skank."
Me: "Lee Adama, too gay to function?"
Hannah: "Kat made out with a hot dog."
Hannah: "Kat made out with Hot Dog?"
Hannah: "No, a hot dog, you motherfrakking idiot."
Me: "THAT WAS ONE TIME!"
Me: "Laura Roslin is a pusher- probably a drug-dealer."

ETA

Me: you know
Me: in the cylon plastics
Me: (which is almost redundant)
Me: Six is totally not Regina.
Me: Xena is Regina.
Me: Rexena, if you will.
Hannah: ...that is totally true
Me: absolutely. boomer would be karen.
Hannah: Omg, Boomer, you can't just ask humans why they die.