Woe Upon Your Cylon Heart!

Me: how much is mrs george ellen tigh?
Me: i'll answer this: INFINITY.
Hannah: Hahahhaha. Oh my God.
Hannah: I heard she did car commercials
Hannah: IN JAPAN
Me: caprica six is flawless.
Hannah: I heard she met Zarek on a plane and he told her she was pretty
Me: i hear her hair's insured for ten thousand cubits
Hannah: I saw Caprica wearing a skin-tight red dress and high heels
Hannah: So I bought a skin-tight red dress and high heels
Me: one time she punched me in the face
Me: it was awesome.
Hannah: and everyone says that Cally is lying about being a virgin just because she has a heavy flow and a wideset vagina
Me: boomer was confused about the cousins and first cousins
Me: only instead of cousins it was her cylon siblings
Hannah: hahaha
Me: Red is life-ruiner. She ruins people's lives.
Me: there is an army of skanks joke in here somewhere
Hannah: There must be
(…)
Me: FOUR FOR YOU GLENN COCO YOU GO GLENN COCO
Me: and noneforgretchenwienersbye
Hannah: noneforleeadamabye
Me: LOL!!
Me: and noneforkendrashawbye
Me: maybe she feels weird around me cause i'm the only one who knows she's a cylon.

Me: i feel like there is somehow a six fic lurking that is called "that's why her hair is so big"
Hannah: hahahaha
Me: OR
Me: a gaius fic
Me: you can guess what it is called
Hannah: I told Alex one time that Joe Jonas was a life ruiner, that he ruined people's lives (when we were discussing the Joe Taylor Swift shit)
Hannah: and just yesterday he goes "Oh...you go that from Mean Girls?"
Hannah: and I just wanted to headdesk everywhere.
Me: dude, for real.
Me: get on it, kid
Hannah: Look, Boomer knew that Six had been hooking up with Colonel Tigh in the projection room above the auditorium
Hannah: but she never told anyone
Hannah: because she is such. a good. friend.
Me: man you know Ellen Tigh would Regina George that bitch
Me: she's all ADMIRAL LOOK AT THIS BURN BOOK SIX MADE.
Hannah: hahahaha.
Hannah: "Ellen Tigh is a fugly...old ass...skank."
Me: "Lee Adama, too gay to function?"
Hannah: "Kat made out with a hot dog."
Hannah: "Kat made out with Hot Dog?"
Hannah: "No, a hot dog, you motherfrakking idiot."
Me: "THAT WAS ONE TIME!"
Me: "Laura Roslin is a pusher- probably a drug-dealer."

ETA

Me: you know
Me: in the cylon plastics
Me: (which is almost redundant)
Me: Six is totally not Regina.
Me: Xena is Regina.
Me: Rexena, if you will.
Hannah: ...that is totally true
Me: absolutely. boomer would be karen.
Hannah: Omg, Boomer, you can't just ask humans why they die.