CANNOT BREATHE.

[sunshine_queen]

So, um, it's 9:15... and no Alias.

NO ALIAS.

There's Alias tonight... but not at 9.

That, and I'm disturbed. Syd, don't hurt Nadia! We love Nadia! SHE wouldn't tell the Love of Her Life to ask her to marry him on the beach if he popped the question and showed a ring simulataneously WHEN YOU MIGHT DIE ANY MINUTE because NADIA isn't STUPID LIKE YOU, SYDNEY ANNE.

That, and Mommy's on. Oh, Mommy. How you brighten all our days with sunshine and merriment and MOLTEN HOT LAVA-NESS.

... Okay, I've just seen like, the ninth ad tonight for Alias- and it's 9:51, mind you- and can I just say that I have a weird love for Infected! Nadia's make-up? I'm all, Gira, your eyes! They're so pink and strange! You look oddly feverish, yet strangely beautiful! Come, infect me, pretty one!

Then again, this is based on a cumulative ten seconds I've seen her in ten different Alias ads and whatnot. Maybe I won't be so keen on it when it's actually on.

... So, didn't study for finals. Bad Madi. And it's MATH. Woe is me. :-D

... Seven minutes.

 

Showtime!

 

From watching the last few minutes of Lost: My sister and I have gathered that Rambaldi is alive and living under that metal thing on the Lost island. Yes. It's true. BOOYAH.

 

Yeah, so, okay. The Bristows and Vaughn go on a mission. The whole town is a mess, and cars are all crazy, and Irina's hair looks really pretty. My hair is almost that color.

Anyway, they meet up with Brodine! The little biter from the first episode! He's all, BRISTOW? I thought you were relieved of duty! She's all, whatever. They talk mission talk about shutting down the Big Red Ball. He's all, beware of the infected! Bewaaaaaaaaaaare. They bite! They KILL! And he gives them special guns. Whatever.

Nadia walks between her parents. yay!

They start chatting about shit, and Nadia's all, "Oh, Irina this," and Brodine squeaks, "Irina? ... Derevko?" HEE!

And Irina's all, Um. Moving on.

Anyway, they continue on, they're going to use the subways. On their way, Irina and Jack walk slowly together. I squeal madly because, dude? CUTE. They talk about fate and cutesy stuff. Irina hears a whinny, and turns. There's a blood red horse. Once she sees a falling angel, oh shit. She feels like one of her babies is going to die.

"You really are through the looking glass, aren't you?" asks Jack. I love him.

Brodine makes a joke about Syd not punching any more holes in him like she did last time. As he finishes saying that, an infected dude, STABS HIM THROUGH with a metal stick. ha ha! See! An big hole!

Brodine dies.

Jack's all, MOVE ON. It's great.

Weiss and Marshall blackmail; Sloane and Elena are evil.

 

AHHHHHHHHHH NADIA IS GOING TO DIE!

so, the A-Team works on getting the subway cars to work. Irina and Vaughn work together. She wants him to come clean about whatever he's doing to Syd so that SyVa doesn't wind up like J/I. Um, how do you know, Irina? Haven't you been in prison for a while? OH MY GOD SHE IS GOD!

Syd tells Nadia Vaughn proposed to her. She makes Nadia her maid of honor. She isn't technically engaged.

Jack answers some guy's phone. It's the guy's girlfriend. Jack tells her her boyfriend is dead, and hangs up, real gentle.

Irina and Vaughn come back. Jack's trying to fix the train. Irina's all, need help, babe? And he's all, got it, sugar. It works for a second, then dies. Irina looks at him with this sweet, oddly proud look.

Syd runs up as the train starts. Irina's all, where's Nad'ya? Syd's all, fuck, where is she?

Nadia is playing around outside. THEN THE CRAZY INFECTED PEOPLE COME!

The train starts moving! Syd starts running to the back, telling Daddy to stop it, but he can't! Nadia runs and shoot and runs and shoots, and then Vaughn shoots, and Nadia makes it, but she can't! A GUY TACKLES HER AND THE PACK DESCENDS AND OH MY GOD!

Meanwhile, Marshall and Weiss blackmail a russian official with his sexual fetishes to get military codes. Yay for them, thinking for themselves! You hold the fort, boys!

 

 

NADIA LIVES!

She made it!

Whatever. They make it to the station. Irina's all, your sister's alive, no worries. Sloane is there. He's all, I betrayed Elena, guys! Yay! Let's all go get her! Jack's like, oh, YEAH RIGHT, asswipe. And then he punches him, because Sloane talked to his wife. That's my man.

Um, Eric and Marshall are useful. They get the codes and find out what Elena's going to do. Thanks, guys.

Anyway, they talk about disarming things. Turns out Elena primed all the water to make the BRB work on everyone so everyone will be infected and the world will go mad. Whatever. Whatever they do, they're doomed.

So, yeah. The world is over.

Irina says she's going to talk to her sister. Yay.

Nadia sees a falling angel! and then gets caught by being too nice. Damn those Bristow girls!

 

 

Nadia is beautiful infected.

Elena is mean to poor, poor, scared, alone Nadia. She promises that she'll never hurt her sister. Evil Elena injects her with "tap water." BITCH. She does it in the Rambaldi scar, too.

Um, mission starts. Syd is going up to the roof by herself, Vaughn stops her. He wants to go. "You'll run faster if I chase you," he says. and it's just so cute. She convinces him to stay behind, and then she says, as he opens his mouth to say, "I love you,": "Don't say it." and this scene was SO WELL DONE. And then she goes into the elevator and runs back out and says, "Just in case- yes." and she agrees to marry him, and it's SO CUTE.

Syd goes up to the roof, and Sloane, Irina, Daddy and Vaughn go infiltrate Elena's compound. They do it easily, and try Elena up. But first?

"Hi, sis." Irina says. And she steps closer. "There's something I've been wanting to do since you were eleven years old." And she HITS HER WITH THE BUTT OF HER GUN.

Anyway, up on the roof, Syd wants to disarm the BRB. Nadia's guarding it. Daddy and Mommy tell her to kill her. Syd whimpers no. "She's my sister." Elena is just smiling evilly. Whore bag. Nadia looks like a pretty Alexis Bledel.

 

THEY SHOT NADIA.

Um, yeah. Nadia and Syd fight. Syd comes across different wires after "tying Nadia up." Irina wants the right wires, and what to cut. And what she says... it's just so great. Elena nyahs back, but Irina's like, dude, woman. It won't be me who tortures you. It'll be Jack. And he's sooooo pissed at you, it's not funny. And Elena suddenly realizes being snarky might not be the best idea. Jack's all, hey, there's a 50-50 chance Syd'll get the right wire anyway. I want to kill you.

Anyway. She gives them the wrong wire, Irina tells Syd to cut the other one, and shoots Elena in the head.

Meanwhile Nadia Bledel creeps up on Syd and starts choking her. Sloane shoots her hard. Vaughn runs up. Sloane is all, I had to, Syd, and then they all run into the elevator while Syd disarms the thing.

Nadia is bleeding out in the elevator, and there's a lot of water. They run and run out of the elevator- Vaughn cradling Nadia, AY QUE NAUGHTY AND CUTE- and then run where Mommy and Daddy are.

Water starts leaking in.

Everyone looks around, a bit worried.

 

 

 

I can't speak.

I can't.

Oh.

My.

God.

Um, so, Mommy leaves. yes. Nadia goes to the hospital to get better. Sloane goes with people to see Nadia.

Syd goes to Santa Barbara with Vaughn. I am just beyond ecstatic, right? They love each other! SYD SAYS SO.

So, Syd wants to elope. Vaughn is all for it.

But there's something he needs to tell her.

Syd's all, don't tell me you're a bad guy, hee hee.

And Vaughn's quiet.

Syd's hand, which has been caressing his ear, retreats. He's all, it started a long time ago. Before I met you, baby. There's a reason you came to ME when the show started, sweetheart.

And my name isn't Michael Vaughn.

Well, forget it. If your name isn't fucking Vaughn, THEN I AIN'T WATCHING. IT'S THE SEXIEST NAME OF ALL TIME.

Well. Syd has no time to be shocked. Because at that point, their green Jag? It got slammed with a jeep cherokee in the driver's side.

BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND! Vaughn is such a GOOD character!

 

Comments

[beccabee.livejournal.com]

AAAAAAAAH I ALMOST DIED!!!!!

[swirlycurlzz.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm very traumatized here.

I remember speculating at one point Vaughn's past - just for fun and a potential plot bunny ... but Jesus Christ, I didn't think JJ would actually unearth something dirty!

I'm just a little freaked out. Vaughn/Person X concedes that what he did happened a long time ago, so maybe a past mess-up ... maybe he worked for an SD-6 group. Maybe he was just joking around! I mean, X is a funny guy, right?

Right, right ... no.

My head really hurts. At least next season will be about Vaughn, just like how season 2 was Irina's territory launched by that jaw-dropping season 1 finale. likewise, season 2's finale exploded into season 3.

And Syd looked so pretty with her hair curled, driving down the California coastal highway! It was almost perfect and BAM. Couldn't he have told her earlier? What if Vaughn is a full-fledged bad guy? Why does everything in poor Syd's life go wrong once it seems to be going okay?

Headache. Headache.

To its credit, the finale will definitely launch Vaughn/X's character into a more interesting position. I was afraid he'd become merely the main kickass heroine's arm ornmanet, provide some lip service, fancy punches, and a nice face - and that's all. Obviously not. For that, I am glad. But he is good now, right? I mean, he does love Syd right? Oh jayzus.

I hope everyone else is okay.

*cardiac arrest*

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

he's so beautiful. I don't care if he's evil.

Read my next post.