(no subject)

[sunshine_queen]

So, I get industrious this evening, thinking, hey, might as well get started on those pesky college aps. Maybe get some research done about applications.

So I go good old princeton review and get application due dates, prices, and special ticks for

- Columbia
- St. John's
- Emory
- UVa
- UMd
- UF
- UM
- UCF
- FIU
- Skidmore

So, I'm discussing this with my mother- who has all been supportive and saying to go where I could and where I wanted, yadda yadda- and suddenly she spazzes out at the idea of me going out of state. All of the sudden. And now I have no idea what in god's name I'm doing. I mean, I am, realistically, going to UF. There's no two ways about it. Proximity, people going there, tuition, scholarships- everything shines with bright neon lights to UF.

But what if I DO get into some fantastic school? What if, on the off chance, I wanted to go to out of state? All of the sudden, my mother is yelling at me about tuition, and how we have no money, and I'll incur debts with student loans, and I'll never come home, and I'm responsible for hurricane Wilma, September 11th, Hiroshima, Pearl Harbor, the sinking of the Lusitania, WWI, the Titanic and the Civil War. Me. Because I might want to go to college out of state.

I am just... frayed nerves, that's the best way to describe it. Frayed nerves. I feel like I'm going to burst into tears, which is ridiculous. If I can't go out of state, I can't go out of state, and crying about it won't help. Gah, I hate being such a baby.