(no subject)

[sunshine_queen]

I owe Hannah an apology.

Last night, I came home. And suddenly, out of nowhere, came this foul mood. And I started taking it out on her. So much so that I had to sign off because I knew I was being a bitch.

And worse still, I know why I was.

I don't hold grudges, and this is a good thing, but obviously it takes its toll in the long run, because there's only so long that you can repress repress repress repress without the box in the dark corner in the closet exploding open. I know have repressed hostility towards some of my friends and the urge to lash out at them with this mood takes me is horrifying.

I wanted to talk last night. I wanted to tell my mom: I'm angry for no good reason at <friend>. I'm mad at Heather and Philly. I mad at Hannah, who did nothing but make some off-hand slight towards Syd and Vaughn that had me raging for no reason other than she was the only person I was talking to and I was upset.

But I was more mad at myself for feeling that way, for feeling so upset. I couldn't bring myself to tell my mother, which freaks me out, because I don't keep things to myself ever, but I was crying in my bedroom in the dark because I was so frustrated. I can't stand feeling so helpless with my emotions.

So, I'm sorry, Hannah, that I was mean. It was uncalled for and stupid and I'll try not to do it again.