"I'm not easily intimidated." "You're not?" "No, I'm intimidating." "Oh. Yeah. You are."

[sunshine_queen]

So I go to bed at three last night, thinking, hey, four and a half hours can totally get me through life!

Yeah, except for the part where I couldn't fall asleep until four. I should've seen it coming.

The pool was HELL this morning. It was raining all morning, but since there was no thunder, we went in. None of the kids were particularly cute, but there were two that were particularly annoying.

The first was Keith. His real problem is that he's a five-year-old boy.

(A) I'm not wild about kids over the age of five. Once they turn five, the behavior was that was cute at four and younger is now irritating. STAND STILL AND BE QUIET.

(B) I'm not so thrilled with boy kids, either. Much more hyper and irritating.

Since the two teacher ladies are both super sweet and gentle, it was me who had to be the enforcer. Consequently, the only one he would listen to was me, and the other kids watched me warily.

Second session was decent, but third was insane.

For one things, we got 12 kids. TWELVE. And the entire forty-five minutes, kids kept showing up like they weren't late or anything. I hate people that are late. But no matter.

First, there was a little girl who was crying because she'd been told she couldn't swim. Or something. She was pretty incoherent. Apparently she had passed my level but was bumped down because the higher level teachers had too many kids and they moved her because she was crying because she thought she couldn't swim. Or something. I don't know.

There was also Sabrina, who refused to get wet unless I got wet. And I just knew by the look in her beady little eyes that if I got wet, she'd be standing there laughing and dry when I came up. So I just handed her off to Oneida. (That is her name. I swear.)

But they, all eleven of the rest, paled in comparison to Evelyn.

First of all, the Venetian Pool is cold. Yes, we know. But do you see all the other kids in the water? YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL. So, Evelyn didn't want to get in and actual was getting out. Um, sorry, not happening. So, I drag her out to where everyone else is, and she's whining because she doesn't want to get her face.

Now, I have totally dealt with kids that were scared. I have been an aide for six years. I have complete respect for fear. This kid was not afraid. She was whiny. And she kept whining. She didn't want to do the jellyfish, she didn't want to do the back float, she didn't want to do the prone glide, she didn't want to get wet.

Me: Don't you want to learn how to swim?
Evelyn: No.
Me: Then why are you here?
Evelyn: Because my friends are here.

I know I'm not a patient person, but I really am patient with little kids. I like kids. But this kid? Forget it. Compounded with my THREE AND A HALF HOURS OF SLEEP, I was ready to kill her. And I said, dude. If you don't quit it, I'm going to take you outside and tell your mom you don't want to swim, okay? You don't have to be here.

"Nooooo," whined Evelyn.

"Then be quiet and stand there and watch."

"But why are they all getting their faces wet? How do they know what to do?"

"Because they're paying attention and they're not whining!"

I mean, I have never lost it with a kid before, but I wanted to kill her. And I told her, and I told Oneida and Ruth, that if she does it again tomorrow, I will take her out of the pool by the hand, tell her to find her mother, and tell the mother that she just shouldn't bring Evelyn back because not only does she totally not want to be there, but she's a disruption to the class.

And I mean, the other kids were like, looking at me like they were freaked out. I never get that! I'm always so liked by the kids! Gaaaaah I'm evil.

 

Comments

[puggywuggy.livejournal.com]

See?! This is why I'm nenever having kids. :P

I'm sorry it sucked, though. Have fun tomorrow.

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, the multitudes of scary. *shudders* Props for surviving and being all hardc0re and SpyDaddy-with-a-gun-to-Vaughn's-head-ish. Because I? Probably would have just . . . passed out. In like thirty seconds.

Rock on, Madi. You've got the pow-a.

[cryssa.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I can deal with kids until they start acting like anything but little angels. Then I pretty much lose all patience and interest and push them off on someone else. Good luck, hopefully it will get better from now on. They know who they're messing with now. ;)