sunshine_queen | (no subject)

DISCLAIMER: Hitler is a bad, bad evil man, and I hate him. Please take the following with a grain of salt.

Hey kids, this post is brought to you by my cold, which was was given to me BY MONICA, and the letter M!

So, I'm reading my damn Hitler and Stalin book, still completely amused. So far I have managed to freak out several of my friends.

With everyone I've mentioned my almost crush on pre-homocidal Hitler. He is just SO heavy on the crazy sauce that it's the funniest thing I've ever said. He's all, war war war, I love war! La la la, war makes me happy! And then all the little soldiers around him are like, yay war! And then a few months later, Hitler's all, war war war, I love war! La la la, war makes me happy! And then all the little around him are like, fucker, war SUCKS, and Hitler would get all crazy and in their faces. And THEN Hitler got sent home and he like, cried to be sent back to war. See what I mean? He was like, hold the sanity, please, but heavy on the crazy.

Then with Nica we discussed Hitler, Stalin, and their use of mustaches to improve their image. As we all know, facial hair can be extremely important. Example: Clark Gable. Alex Tribec. Burt Reynolds. Mr. Khausinau my english teacher. The Beard on SpyDaddy's face in 'The Passage,' although it hardly seems fair to lump The Beard in with all the other matter involved. But I digress. Nica and I both had contradicting views on Stalin- she thought he looked uber scary, I thought he looked like a friendly uncle (although all my uncles are dark-haired, so I might be, like, biased) - and she thought he was scary because of the Giant Mustache, and I thought the mustache was like a giant friendly caterpillar.

What does scare me, however, is Hitler's mustache. That mustache was... not of the lord. It was small and concise and DAMN SCARY.

And it's these sorts of things that occupy my mind whilst I skimmed 229 pages, which is where I am right now in the book. I have to get to 256, but at this point I realize that there is no way in hell I'm going to remember half of this, so I've given up and have been, like, jumping entire paragraphs and pages because I don't care. And I won't remember anything come Monday aside from the fact that Hitler's parents were 22 years apart, second cousins, and his mama was his daddy's mistress; that Lenin's wife was named Nadezhda; that Stalin married a Nadezha that killed herself; Stalin's mom was named Ekaterina; and that Hitler is OUT OF HIS MIND.

So, I figure I'll finish the last thirty-odd pages tonight and read Zorba all tomorrow. Tess managed to ruin Zorba for me by telling me that Zorba is actually a Hutt in the GFFA. Kill me now, please.