Fireboooooooomb.

[sunshine_queen]

 

Tonight:

Rachel "compromises" a mission by sleeping with Sark because she's horny and hasn't gotten any in a while and saw Sark and said "Hot Damn" and went for it, like any normal hot-blooded girl, and now they have to team up with Julian Sark. According to my blurb on the TV.

SARK SARK SARK.

The episode is titled "Bob." Lord almighty.

Let's go!

 

So, aside from Mark from 'Rent' appearing in Siberia to use the Firebomb thing on a whole bunch of stereotypical Russian people- a whole lotta shit happened.

Um, basically the firebomb thing is being developed by MI-6, only not, it's Prophet-5, whatever. So Daddy and Syd go to visit the Well-Manicured Man from the X-Files by way of a tea party. Syd eats with this old lady who likes the name Rupert, and then runs into Mama Thermopolis (is she really? I dunno.) Meanwhile Daddy plays a piano inside and talks to MT about the whole MI-6 thing.

Balthazar is attractive, and I love Dixon.

Syd's purposely making her french accent bad and it pains me. It really does.

Also? This is completely Daddy's episode. "A very young grandfather."

Turns out that Mark is going to some thinger in Brazil, so they need Rachel to go there. However...

"Brazil- I mean, wow, Brazil. They have those string... not bikinis..."
"Thong."

... Nothing can top that.

Syd tells Rachel she needs some fun, so she dons a flirty sundress and goes to Brazil. And meets Sark.

AAAAAAAAAAAAIEEE!

He is also working for the bad guys. Again. Some more. Surprise! They spy on the same guy, and he talks to someone named Benjamin. Whatev.

 

 

So, Rachel's a sluuuuuut!

She's also afraid of heights.

Er, and Daddy talked to MT and sure enough, there's someone in MI-6. Yep. Duh.

She gets Mark's signature and finger print to break into his laptop and get whatever they need... (again, whatever) and then has to do what Barbra Streisand did in "What's Up Doc?" Poor thins looked real scared.

Anyway, Sark breaks in and does what Rach came to do faster and more efficiently.

After Rachel survives and gets the info, she calls up Balthazar for instructions. He says she can have the night off.

I happen to think it's a bad idea for a Spy On The Job to go have a few drinks and pick up strange men AND THEN SLEEP WITH THEM, but you know what? I don't care! LA LA LA! And? SARK.

So, they chat and flirt and aquariums are soooo overrated and Sark is charming and Rachel does a great British accent but Sark's american accent FREAKS ME OUT and makes him less hot. Anyway, long story short? He and Rachel go upstairs, kiss, kiss some more, and then go to have sexxxxx.

 

DADDY!

Um, stuff happens. Rachel is in bed with Sark, and they're all cute and cuddly, and Rachel is, in the grand tradition of Alias Women, wearing both a bra in bed and a black bra. Anyway, her PDA goes off and so does his computer, so they both run off to be spies.

Back at home, Rachel does NOT use half of the dialogue that everyone memorized in the five zillion times we heard the commercial for the episode. Dammit. Anyway, she met Sark and hooked up but will never see him again. What happens in Brazil stays in Brazil.

Daddy has another fantastic line, and then he goes off to meet Mama Thermopolis in Malaga, Spain, a hotspot for bad guys.

Anyway, it's not MI-6, it's an ambush of African terrorists or whatever, and they kill people, AND DOES NO ONE RECOGNIZE THAT THE BOMB IS FIREBOMB FROM SEASON TWO? HELLO?

Daddy and MT get kidnapped, and Syd gets panicky because, you know. Her Daddy. She's very cute about it, and her make-up is fantastic. Fantastic. Oh, Syd, you're so pretty.

 

Um. They figure out that someone else knew about the whole trade thing. BY BRINGING IN SLOANE.

I missed Sloane. But it was so appropriate- he looked haggard for the first time EVER, and it was because of his baby Nadia.

Anyway, they realize Sark was in Brazil, and they're all badmouthing him, and Rachel looks like she drank sour milk, and then puked and had to swallow it. Or something equally disgusting. It was insane.

Syd knows right away, and Rachel remembers that Sark had an actual PAPER plane ticket ahead of time, which no one gets anymore, LET ALONE A SPY, but whatever. They go to meet him in the Bahamas.

He's all, Lydia? Babe? More sex? And she's all, oh, bitch. And then Syd shows up and Sark is momentarily like, My love! And then all, Sydney. Shit. And then Syd says she wants to hire him 'cause her daddy is in trouble.

In Tunisia, Daddy is with MT in a cell, and these mean black guys come in and they shoot MT in the hand and I nearly died. Daddy is a gentleman and tried to get them to spare her, but they wouldn't bastards. And they shot her and Daddy lunged and they were mean and are currently threatening to shoot the other one. How is MT supposed to explain that to her french ambassador of a husband, huh?

 

Sark calls up the guy and sets up a meet with Sloane sitting there, all Season Two-like.

So, um, Syd wants to go on the mission, but someone FINALLY says no to the Princess! Hello, Dixon has the best interest of the fetus at heart FINALLY. Yay, Dix.

Marshall keeps Syd company 'cause she can't lose her dad.

They all go to Tunisia, and the boys are in front, and I love my boys, and Sark and Rach are in the back and they're the poster Aryan couple and he's all flirty and she's all *sour milk* and when Balthazar comes back he all but says "Is he botherin' you? 'Cause I'll mess him up, sis." I love him.

Anyway, Sark goes in, and the African Terrorist ain't too thrilled about the whole thing and pulls a gun. Dixon and Balthazar go in to take care of things and find Daddy, and Rach stays behind to be a girl and mind the door. They find Daddy and MT and get them out with the extraction team. Rach goes to find Sark, and finds him handcuffed to Firebomb and the timer activated. Good job, Sark. Way to go. BRILLIANT.

So, we go in, and Rach is on the phone with Marshall and Syd are talking her through disarming the bomb, and Sark is snarky, and she's like, bitch? You know what? You're the idiot, AND? YOU WANTED TO SNUGGLE.

And? That earned her another "Goddamn, Rachel! Goddamn!" Which is high, high praise.

So, they save the world, and Sark goes free, and it was a freebie, and Marshall doesn't need or want to know about Rachel and Sark.

Daddy is all sentimental about MT, and it's cute. And creepy. Don't touch women that aren't Derevkos, Daddy; you don't know where they've been.

At home, Syd calls her Daddy and reiterates how much she loves him and would hate if anything happened to him and she's very excited about going to breakfast with him the next day. Daddy hangs up and sits in the dark.

Dixon comes home, and he gets an uber big hug, as he deserves. Saving the Daddy and saving the fetus? Props, Dix. PROPS.

At Daddy's house, Daddy plays the piano quite beautifully, because he is a man of many talents and we saw a bit of it last season but oh my god, he is amazing. And his piano top is covered with Irina's old books. Or so I imagined.

That episode rocked.

Next week:

Syd gets kidnapped (THE FETUS! I WARNED YOU) and Vaughn shows up. In a dream. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, COMMERCIAL GODS.

Comments

[xenaamber.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love you. *grin* That ep was awesome!

Yorkshire is where both of my grandmothers live, and that old lady totally reminded me of my dad's mother. :D

And Syd was talking about Devonshire clotted cream and that's from THE OTHER END OF THE COUNTRY.

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

Eh, they still have it in Yorkshire.

[xenaamber.livejournal.com]

It's like saying that clam chowder represents food from Nebraska.

[snapplesons.livejournal.com]

I had to tape this ep. Tenia mucha tarea que hacer. But I'll watch it later. Coz Sark is Sark.

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

Better late than never.

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

Hee hee, I love your episode write-ups.

then Syd shows up and Sark is momentarily like, My love! And then all, Sydney. Shit. is pretty much my favourite thing ever, though closely followed by Don't touch women that aren't Derevkos, Daddy; you don't know where they've been.

Daddy playing the piano was a thing of unparallelled beauty. Lena needs to come home, like, now.

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

It's so nice to hear you say that, 'cause usually I think that I'm only doing them to amuse myself.

Most the Daddy scenes were amazing. And Lena needs to come home ASAP. I love Lena.