(no subject)

[sunshine_queen]

Since kerlin  and dollsome  sweetly asked me to ramble about SyVa when I complained I didn't have a chance to, here goes:

SyVa

The main attraction I have for SyVa is the way it screams for normalcy.

We got a chance to see the sweetness that their relationship had in the few episodes where they were going out. The little things that just slayed me- Vaughn unzipping Sydney's dress, her skating into his arms, holding both their cell phones, him kissing her palm after the hockey game, tweaking her nose.  There was simply a sweet devotion between the two of them.

Originally, Syd was on this gung-ho mission to prove herself- she felt she was too important to be in Vaughn's care, she was on a mission to avenge Danny, bring down SD-6 and the Alliance and save the world single-handedly, and the beautiful desk-jockey that read her statement could go to HELL. Sure, he was pretty, but Danny was dead and there were bad guys and Daddy was a jerk, so who needed some light-eyed Aryan  hottie to direct her? Especially when he was such a simpleton.

Then Syd got assigned to Lambert. Not so nice, Lambert. He kinda thought Syd was a pretty piece of flesh that he could mess with. Not the case. Give me back my pretty blonde man, Sydney cried, he lets me walk all over him!

And so they did. And for a while, Sydney continued with the whole, "I am field-experienced and you are not, therefore you are gay,*" thing until Daddy decided to be a jerk (*sigh*) and stand her up. See, then it was okay that Vaughn was pretty, Aryan-looking desk jockey, 'cause at least he was a pretty, Aryan-looking desk jockey whom she could tell the truth to, and hence sob her pretty little eyes out to. Which she did. And grabbed his hand.

Vaughn already had this major-league crush on her. Why? Because (A) Sydney is just the prettiest little girl in Puppetland. No, really. And (B) Sydney is the main character of the show, and she needs a pretty boyfriend. Well, those are not the important reasons. The other reasons are:

- Sydney is very pretty!
- Sydney is smart!
- Sydney is determined!
- Sydney wears skimpy outfits!
- Sydney is a good agent!
- Sydney believes in all kinds of things!
- Sydney is pretty!
- Sydney was exciting!
- Sydney was not blonde!

And yeah. So, Vaughn already had a crush on her. And he could exercise his white-knight complex on her at will, as it was his duty to keep her safe/ design missions so as to keep her safe/ talk her into following orders and being safe/ talking her out of trouble and into safe-ness. In doing this, Sydney grew to trust Vaughn. This extended beyond their work and into their personal life- well, into hers, at least. Syd needed someone to trust and talk to, seeing as she couldn't say anything at all to Will or Francie because that whole nasty SD-6 murdering thing. And back then, Syd and Daddy weren't too nice.

And so, Syd and Vaughn fell in love. Carefully. Cautiously. And not monogamously, because Vaughn had the Bland One and Syd had... well, she slept with Noah. Dammit. Which isn't as bad as Vaughn having a girlfriend, but whatever.

But in spite of Alice and Noah, and everything else that stood between them- that whole nasty business about her mom killing his dad, the fact that SD-6 wouldn't like their prized Spy Barbie going out with the CIA poster boy- they really did like each other and talk to one another. It wasn't like, oh, we're in love, ooh ooh ooh, I just met you but you're my sooooooulmate, twinkle twinkle violins. They were friends, and allies and partners and everything they needed to be before being lovers- and it was there, the unspoken agreement: our time will come. Be patient.

And their time did come, and they were just so cute. They didn't stop being friends to become just soooulmate and gomyou'retheloveofmylifeholdmenow. They were still friends, and partners- but now he could go home with her, and sit with her  while she took a bath, and snuggle with her after bad missions and plan vacations. They never lost what made them so fantastic, so meant for each other- their trust, their camaderie.

And then Sydney died.

It's always been a point of contention of me and the many I have debated it with and inevitably it winds up being, in a couple, who would survive the death of their soulmate better? Whose heart would go on, and whose heart would stop? The 'weaker' party was almost always the boy, and in this case, it was the same. Vaughn would've sooner killed himself than live without Sydney, and came damn close with his antics in Europe. Vaughn was absolutely devastated by Sydney's death.

One of the most striking things about Sydney's death was its timing. The night of her death, everything seemed to be holding its breath, waiting for things to settle into rightness. They had just vainquished so much- and they were going on vacation. Three days in Santa Barbara. Another poignant point of their last moments together was how ordinary it was. Vaughn didn't let his eyes linger on her face to memorize the coloring and the shape, not the shine of the streelights on her cheek or how her flesh felt under his fingers. He didn't kiss her meaningfully before she left, didn't tell her that he loved her.  He tells her 'tomorrow' and kisses her and sends her on her way. What did it matter? He'd be seeing her soon.

Instead, he leaves his meeting to find out that there is no Santa Barbara, there is no tomorrow. What there was was a burnt apartment and a broken heart.

I won't get into why Vaughn married Lauren, or why he chose Lauren, and I don't even want to touch upon the whole Lauren-is-eeeeevil-and-made-Vaughn-her-target-shame-shame-shame because, really? It doesn't really matter. Lauren was The Wife, so for the purpose of SyVa, she was merely an obstacle.

Syd showed back up in Hong Kong. There was insane amounts of angst and devastion for all involved. First off, Syd comes up and everything happened yesterday. Re: they should still have like, a night in Santa Barbara, right? Right? Not so much. Turns out it's been two years, Vaughn got married, Will's in the WPP and THE APT. IS BURNT DOWN.

(The apt. THE APT. I mean, forget about SyVa. The love of MY life was the apt. And the apt. was burnt down by the CRUEL, CRUEL writers... so now Syd is in The Cabin By the Sea. I HATE the Cabin. Well, I don't hate it, it's nice, but I miss the apt. Like whoa.)

... Vaughn is married.

So, Syd gets the Xena face and lets Vaughn have it, and she meets Mrs. Vaughn. Mrs. Vaughn is cute and blonde and British and later turns out to be a cheap and evil girl, but she's The Obstacle. Before it was SD-6 and the Alliance and whatnot, now it's Mrs. Vaughn who legally has Vaughn.

Unfortunately for Vaughn, he still loves Syd. And unfortunately for Syd, who still loves Vaughn, Vaughn is an honorable man, so no quickie divorce for him.

As a side note, he also loves Lauren. But you can't love two people. It just doesn't work. There's only room for One Sooooulmate. The nonplatonic one in five billion.

And so, the angst roils, coils, hisses and strikes, bursts and bubbles, froths and foams. Vaughn is married and oh-so-conflicted. Syd is alone and oh-so-lonely. She's got the little things, Lauren's got Vaughn. She sleeps with Will. He angsts.

Then came North Korea.

North Korea was the rubicon. It showed that yes, neither one was imagining things- when left to their own devices, it was still two years ago, and no piece of metal around his finger or scar on her torso could change that. They were still Sydney and Vaughn, and when it came down to it- they were it for one another. Their kiss, I always felt, was full of desperation borne of their separation rather than their imminent death.

After that, things were a bit off. Well. Syd loves Vaughn, duh. But Vaughn still loves Syd, end of story. No more being mean to her because Daddy told him he should, no more pretending that they could go back to living in the perpetual state of anticipation like they had before the fall of the Alliance, poised, ready to leap, prey and predator both. It got harder, then- knowing that both wanted things to be like they had before, for Vaughn especially, who saw it as a test of loyalty to everyone that he was failing no matter what. He couldn't help but love Sydney, anymore than he could stop wanting to protect her, but he knew that he couldn't be with her, and divorcing Lauren because of this... craziness, this bizarre love triangle was just so wrong. Poor Valiant Vaughn.

In the end, true love conquered all. Lauren was finished, and SyVa was given the go-ahead. Green light. Proceed.

Didn't happen.

Syd was too freaked out by what she'd learned; Vaughn was still insane with rage over Lauren. They weren't the same people who had cautiously fallen in love however-many-years before- not the cocky, damn good at her job, single focus Sydney, not the shy, brave, hopelessly devoted Vaughn. Neither of them were still as idealistic, neither of them as secure in anything anymore, neither of them as safe as they had been when their life had been in danger everytime they spoke.

They're working their way back now- using, as corny as it sounds, what they had and what they have still as a form of North Star to follow.

 

(*and that was a paraphase of a line from Ghost World, so don't think I'm politically incorrect. Or whatever.

Enid: [writing] Dear Josh, we came by to fuck you, but you were not home. Therefore... you are gay. Signed Tiffany, and Amber. )

Word count: 1,700. Dude.

Comments

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

Awww. I love SyVa. Wonderful assessment of their relationship. Theirloveissomeanttobe. And strangely, for some reason, I never really thought about the fact that they were friends first until after reading this. And then since I've been watching season one . . . they so are. I mean, I knew that already, but I didn't really process it. And I almost like watching them as friends with an underlying sparkle o' romance, but that could be my subconscious M/S tendencies. In any case, snaps for you, 'cause this was fantastic. :)

And wouldn't the world be a better place if we could write essays about ships? Because it's easy to write nearly 2000 words about shippiness! As opposed to, say, The Grapes of Wrath or something.

And I miss the apt terribly. I think this might be your influence. ;-)

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

I left out the 'better' after 'underlying sparkle o' romance.' Shame on me!