(no subject)

[sunshine_queen]

I cannot tell you the depth of sorrow.

No, seriously. I have lost everything I had on my computer. Everything. Two years worth of writing, all gone. Nothing. And it's only my account.

Can I fully describe this? I swear, this might sound melodramatic, but it's like my life is gone. My writing. EVERYTHING. Even that beautiful fic, the one I was writing, the one I was SO DAMN PROUD OF.

Everything is snowballing. Things keep getting worse and worse. I cried for forty minutes in a theatre today, sobbing in the fifth row. My head aches from crying, because I've cried more today than I have since I watched Pearl Harbor in the threate and had to go home and go to sleep because I had tired myself out.

And I keep on crying. It just keeps coming. And then I think I'll be fine, and I think of it again, and it wells up and I have to keep my hands pressed tight over my mouth to keep from keening. It's not just the computer, it's life, and it's injustice and it's unspecialness and it's how I suddenly understand why everyone fears for adolescents. I used to be happy, always, generally, without reason. Now I'm not. And it's even more depressing because I'm not used to it and I remember being happy and I've lost my ability.

If yesterday was bad and today was worse, I literally am petrified about tomorrow.

The light at the end of my tunnel? It's an oncoming train.

Comments

[thepodsquad.livejournal.com]

Honey, I cannot express how sorry I am. I cannot imagine losing everything, losing all my icons, all my fics, all my pictures. I would be horrified and totally ruined.

But it will get better, I promise, and if it doesn't you can blame me. Which will make you feel better. *huggles Sunny*

[beccabee.livejournal.com]

oh babe. i promise it'll get better. i've been there so many times; just get some sleep and eat some chocolate and it'll be okay.

[grey-mist.livejournal.com]

I feel for you. No, really, I do. I can't imagine losing all of my writing. I think I'd better go save them in diskettes or something.

[cryssa.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

I've lost stories before and I can't imagine losing it all. Hang in there.

[carrole.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry, Sunny. I've done that before, too, and I know how hard it is to write everything out.

Have a good cry. Sometimes it's the only thing that makes you feel better. *much hugs*

~Carr

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

*huggles Sunny*

[xcoquette.livejournal.com]

You know, what you need is a good trip to the beach with your best sunkissed friend in her pink convertible, right?

[owl]

O, that's so awful!! I'm lucky that my stuff is all on my uni network account, so I can't lose it...are you sure it can't be recovered? Try taking the computer to some technical person to see what they can do.

*hugs*