(no subject)

[sunshine_queen]

The thing that annoys me most about my family's prejudice against the internet is that they don't consider it real. If my sister wants to go hang out at a record store to buy obsolete plastic discs that she never plays for exorbitant sums, that's cool. If she wants to go ride the metro or anything else that is bizarre or quirky, that's completely legit, because she's doing it with "real" friends. This is also a valid excuse for not wanting to do things with my family. However, if my family wants to do something I have a documented and historic disinterest in, like, say, going in the pool, and instead want to hang out online? Well, that's because I'm selfish, and, also, delusional, because, my friends? Are, in my mother's own words, "imaginary."

Never mind that I just came back from visiting Monica, who my parents have met multiple times, and in whose wedding I am the maid of honor. Never mind that Hannah has visited my house twice, and came to visit me last fall at school. And forget Jess, who was at my house just a few months ago. And all my other friends are just not real, apparently. To them, I just... have no friends, I guess.

I guess it doesn't matter to my mother that aside from a handful of people- and by 'handful' I mean like Melissa and a few coworkers and a few friends from school and my roommate- I haven't found people that I like as much and get along with as well on the internet. Believe me, if I could change the fact that I lived so far from all these people, I would. I'd be much, much happier being able to plan Monica's wedding in person, or be able to snark with Hannah on my couch, or watch movies actually sitting next to Tess and not over AIM or the phone. I hate that I live so far from my friends, but I can't help it, really, and it's not fair that I'm being mocked for it. I think I am incredibly lucky to have found such a nice group of friends- both the people I've known for years and some people I've met in the last few months. I am delighted to know you all.

And it shouldn't hurt my feelings, because if my mother is going to be so absurd than I shouldn't even listen to her, but I am stupidly upset by this, because it feels like she doesn't respect me. I might possibly be reading too much into this.

Goddamn, do I need to get a job away from here.

Comments

[yubsie]

If I'm imaginary, does that mean I don't have to go to work any more?

It's strange that MEETING some of these people didn't do the trick for them.

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

That depends, Yubs. Does everyone else think you're imaginary?

I don't understand it either. Like, they know these girls and still the internet doesn't create real friendship. Um, false.

[yubsie]

With how much I've been traveling, they might be starting to wonder. But I probably still have to go to work. :p

Tessie's mom used to be the same way until I went to visit. So weird that it didn't work on yours.

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

I don't understand it either!

[coffeesuperhero.livejournal.com]

♥

I'm sorry, bb. Meanwhile, if I'm all in your head, does that mean I get to look as good in my clothes as Head!Six? Because, well, damn.

::hugs::

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

♥

Hell, if you're all in my head, I expect every last one of you to look like Sixes.

[leiascully.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, bb. That's truly unfortunate. My family used to feel the same way, but they came around after they met my friends. It's odd that your fam is still so resistant. I hope they get over it.

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

It's really bizarre because they know and like my friends! I don't know what their deal is.

I hope they get over it too.

[imelda72.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* Let me say first that it is awesome and admirable that you have made so many good friends online. My roommate, too, met most of her friends via interwebz. The net is just a perfect way to find people who share your interests--and that's much harder to do in "real life". Where are you going to go, in person, if you want to, say, discuss the latest BSG episode??

So it's totally normal, this day and age, to find friends online.

The other issue is them not respecting your desire to spend time online, connecting with those friends. You know, I struggle with a similar issue all the time. You may not think it's similar, actually, but it annoys me. And that's wanting to spend time by myself. Like, if someone invites me somewhere, but I'd rather spend the evening home alone. Somehow, there's something wrong with that, with preferring to be by myself than with anyone else.

What's up with that, society?

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

*hugs* The sad thing is, I think it's admirable too, that I've found so many people I love even over the internet. It shouldn't matter where I met them, only that we did, or how we communicate, only that we do.

I think your issue is the same as mine, because it's being penalized for doing what you want to do. If I want to be at home and on the internet, that is my right as an adult to make, and it's the same for you. We should not be made to feel bad for knowing what we want to do with our time, even if it's not what everyone else thinks we should do.

[imelda72.livejournal.com]

even if it's not what everyone else thinks we should do.

Exactly. Like the only acceptable use of your time is going somewhere with people. When did that happen?

Oh, well. I'm on your side, anyway. I hope your parents wise up, like leiascully's!

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

What bothers me is that if I were reading a book, or doing some kind of solitary activity like swimming or horseback riding- that'd be acceptable. But since it is the internet, it's weird.

Thanks, bb.

[bel-baggins.livejournal.com]

I'll echo Yubs - if being online means you're imaginary then I'm not going to work OR paying taxes!

It sucks that your family doesn't understand, especially after meeting your friends in person. :( I don't suppose your family would chip in for plane tix every weekend for you to meet up with your friends? Intrawez = way cheaper!

I think the internet is slowing getting more widely accepted though. (Did people feel the same way about the telephone when it first became widespread?) I mean, people can connect with just about anyone. (My sister's been finding old friends, from before we moved cross country, on facebook; unlikely she'd be able to do that without the internet). I heard on the news a few days ago that something like 25% of current relationships began on an online dating site. My best friend met her fiance last year on a dating site (and chatted online for a lot before meeting up).

You can get mugged while riding the metro but never while discussing BSG online. ;)

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

Heh, God's speed in your quest to live imaginarily.

I don't suppose your family would chip in for plane tix every weekend for you to meet up with your friends?

Dude, right? It's not like I wouldn't prefer to love close to my friends!

[lady-padme.livejournal.com]

I don't really exist.

Wow...cool concept. I like that idea.

* hugs *

(Or is that * imaginary hugs *)

[spookyvoice]You just thought you imagined me here[/spooky voice]

Sorry to hear that you have this opposition at home. Just remember that your mom came of age before this internet explosion and this idea of e-friends is a little bizarre to her, and to most people, 'strange'='scary'. She's just a little frightened because she doesn't really understand it. I remember that after Kaitlyn was born, Kelly (Gabri_Jade) sent me the most gorgeous dress for her to wear to her red egg celebration and it was only then that I confessed to my mom that I had internet friends. It took me 7 years to meet her in person for the first time, but I certainly know that her friendship and support and understanding helped me through some of the roughest times in my life. For your family's sake, I would suggest trying to participate a little bit more in 'real life' things, but ignore the jabs about imaginary friends. We all know you're crazy, anyway.

j/k. We all love you and wish you the best.

* hugs again *

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

It's kind of funny how into being imaginary everyone is.

*hugs*

She did apologize for the imaginary remark, it was just so cutting and hurtful to hear. I've been open about having friends on the internet since I started making friends on the internet, so... I don't know. Arg.

[lady-padme.livejournal.com]

In response to your reply to whatever_lj below, your friends are NOT coming out of the woodwork to tell you that they are imaginary.

You're just imagining it.
















...runs really fast...

[whatever-lj.livejournal.com]

Actually? I didn't want to have to tell you? But I don't exist... except in your imagination, of course. But then, again... we've never been all that close, so I think it's OK...

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

All my friends are coming out of the woodwork to tell me they are imaginary! Clearly my mother was right.

[miss-rina.livejournal.com]

Dude, friend your mom on Facebook. And be like," Look, ma! I have 265 friends... more than you!"

Jokes aside (and BIG HUGS), I get the same thing and it does suck. The way you have to look at it is that in her day if you wanted to make friends who had the same hobby as you, you had to go to a themed summer camp, subscribe to a David Cassidy fan club and get a random penpal assigned to you and write letters to someone you were probably not going to see again about ponies and David Cassidy. And let's be honest, that's super lame and the Interwebs is so much better. But if you just don't 'get' the internet (and so many of my actual contemporaries don't - they check Facebook and online shopping sites and THAT'S IT) you're going to have no clue at how wonderfully unifying it is. So whenever my mom is all," People on the internet will EAT YOUR BRAINS" I just close my eyes and think of David Cassidy fan clubs.

Calling your friends 'imaginary' was super mean, and is likely to make you feel really defensive around her and less open about your interests with her, and that's totally her bad. But you've still got all of your great friends online who can come and say all this supportive stuff to you, even if your mom doesn't really get it.

[xenaamber.livejournal.com]

Belatedly, I agree with all the other people. You're still totally my real, legitimate, non-creepy friend even if we did meet online. I know plenty of people not from online who are WAY creepier than you. I think it's just a generational difference, but sorry that your family is being lame. :-(